New life

This image is of my dad, myself and Jamie (dad's grandson and my son) who all shared a birthday. Dad's birthday and Jamie's birthday are December 20th. My birthday is December 21st. This was in 1993.

On September 3 at 2:30 in the morning my dad left this life for a new place and a new life. He waited to die until he was with mom for her birthday on September 2nd. The stars were brilliant in the sky and he left with just a sigh of peace.

Two writings ago, I talked about dad's stroke on August 8th and his will to recover. He was beginning to really respond to the physical therapy, but his body was tired, and he developed another infection and went back into the hospital. We knew that he just wanted to come home and so we contacted hospice and brought him home. All of my brothers and sisters came to him from various parts of the country and they and their spouses cared for him with much love. Of course my mom was with him all the time in that weaving that only she has with him....woven through 62 years of marriage. His brothers and sisters, nieces and nephews, visited him, and his grandchildren had a chance to say good-bye. He spent the last week and a half of his life in the garden room where he could look out on the Eagle Marsh wetlands, feel the breeze and sunshine on his face, smell the various smells of grass and flowers and water, see and hear the birds, hear the trains go by, and at night, see his beloved stars.

We were with him day and night for this last time of passage, taking turns sleeping. Dad could talk for only two days after coming home, and he never lost his sense of humor during this time. On the second day he was anguished because he did not want to die and leave his family. It was very hard to witness and there were no words that could help....just our love. However, by the third day, he was finding peace with death. Hospice is fabulous and I just can't say enough about their loving care of dad and of us. He was not in pain although his body was breaking down rapidly. It was so very hard to watch his body in the releasing process over this 1-1/2 weeks. But for dad....he was seeing his ancestors (he talked about who he was seeing when he could still talk) and especially his twin brother.....I know that sometimes he was traveling somewhere....and other times he was aware of all of us even though he could only communicate by lifting his eyebrow or twitching his eyelids. All of us have our individual story of something funny or very personal that he said during this time.

When dad died, I was with him and talking to him. Mom was immediately there for him on this final journey. Everyone in the family was connected to him and he felt their presence. He knew that he was not alone in his journey.

Dad's passage was an incredible gift for me. The energy of his release quickened an immediate energy in me. I feel very much his presence and his support all around me. Thank you, dad, for this presence in the midst of my loss of your physical self and my grief.

Dad has components up in the Hubble spacecraft, and also in the Mars explorer. He has patents on various items that has helped with our space exploration. Dad built his own telescope and ground the lens himself. Now he has gone to the stars.

When my music emerged at the age of 12, dad drove me to music lessons every Friday night.
We had great conversations, and when I wanted to stop music he kept me going. He found the financial means for me to explore music. So.....his life will continue to gift mine with support and inspiration for music.

Maybe the greatest gift he has given is the understanding of how to love. Thank you, dad.

With much love.